Caution: I'm talking about POOP again!

Okay, seriously, why am I always the farthest place possible away from the bathroom when I'm shopping?  I seriously thought I was going to need a clean up in isles 4, 5, and 6 on the way to the bathroom yesterday while I was out. I made it though - barely.  I hate that.

The urge to poop always comes on out of nowhere.  I'm all like, la dee da, I'm shopping then BAM! It hits and I must poop NOW! No warning. Where's the warning?!?  Where's the belly rumblings?  Or the slight urge that it may happen in the next ten minutes or so?  I get an instant burning feeling in my rectum from the boiling hot diarrhea and have to run for it.  I don't run. I hate this!

THEN -

Once I get into the bathroom and let the explosion begin it never fails.  Some stupid woman comes in and uses the stall right next to me.  It's simple bathroom etiquette really.  You separate yourself by a stall. Always.  I'm always on an end so I can make it easier, but it never fails.  There can be fifteen empty stalls in the bathroom and the woman that comes in will use the one right next to me.  WHY MUST PEOPLE DO THIS?????  It boggles the mind.

Okay, enough of the ranting.  I'm feeling okay physically and need a job.  I'm driving myself crazy!

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